Giving feedback: traps and strategies

Julia Milner at EDHEC Business School outlines strategies for delivering feedback well and effectively

In my work as a Professor of Leadership and Management Consultant I have trained thousands of managers in feedback techniques. What seems like a simple and straightforward task often turns out to be more complicated in practice. 

Leaders have shared with me that they ‘don’t want to upset the other person’, ‘others just don’t take critiques well and are resistant to feedback’, or that ‘there is just not enough time in a day’. 

Here are some ideas on how to approach and deliver feedback to make it a success for everyone involved instead of a pro forma draining experience.

The four pillars of feedback 

Give your feedback some shape with the CTTP framework: Care, Technique, Two-Way Street, Positivity. CTTP can help leaders to break feedback down into easy applicable steps.  

Care. Care means starting with empathy, putting yourself into the shoes of the other person, finding the right moment for feedback and creating a non-threatening environment where feedback is not a once-off a year performance review but a real chance to continuously learn and grow. 

Technique. I often encounter leaders who have challenges with giving feedback due to a lack of technique. Familiarise yourself with some standard frameworks without losing authenticity in the process. In this video, some easy approaches for feedback are discussed that can help leaders to deliver feedback well: 

Two-Way Street. Two-Way Street stands for making feedback a conversation instead of an announcement. Ask questions, let the other person reflect upon their performance and frequently ask your team members to give you feedback. For this, make sure that you role-model how to receive feedback as well: 

Positivity. With Positivity leaders should be reminded that feedback can be both: on critical aspects delivered in a helpful as well as pointing out what’s going right and leveraging strengths. If there is nothing to complain about then still give compliments frequently. If there is lots to complain about, say it in a constructive way and nevertheless find moments to point out what the other person is doing well. Appreciation can go a long way. 

Common feedback mistakes

Some common feedback mistakes leaders make are often due to a lack of skills, thinking biases or wrong time prioritisation. The consequences of these feedback mistakes are plentiful. People will avoid asking for feedback, in the worst-case scenario they are demotivated and quit quietly or quit openly. 

Giving feedback only when things went wrong and more specifically after they went wrong, and nothing can be changed is one typical mistake. In this scenario the feedback receiver is stuck with a ‘I should have’ feeling that does not help to move things forward in a constructive way. The wish to be liked by everyone and thus not being able to give critical feedback is another common feedback trap that I have seen among leaders worldwide.

Critical feedback delivered in an appropriate way is most often perceived much better than letting someone else fail on purpose or waiting until it is ‘too late’. 

Another trap is to think that high performers don’t need feedback as they are already performing well. This leaves valuable team members feeling like efforts don’t matter and they quickly feel underappreciated. Make sure to exchange with all performance levels and don’t let people fear that you only give feedback when something goes wrong. 

One thinking bias when it comes to feedback is to believe that there is not enough time to give it. Just think about it: If people can adjust their course on the way and consequently the outcome improves then that is time very well spent. Leaders should not assume that hourlong feedback sessions on a weekly basis are necessary, a quick exchange, a written note or a comment before a team meeting are sometimes all that is needed. 

Forgetting about cultural impact is one trap leaders should avoid. In some cultures, feedback is given more directly and in other cultures this would not be acceptable. Familiarise yourself with culture frameworks and adjust accordingly. It also can’t hurt to ask how the other person prefers feedback to be delivered or what was their best experience of receiving feedback.  

The way forward with feedback 

As a first step, leaders could reflect upon common feedback traps and which one they have fallen for themselves. Furthermore, leaders need to frequently check-in, support and empower people to adjust where necessary. Here a focus on feedforward can be helpful, a term coined by Marshall Goldsmith, meaning looking at what can be done differently ‘next time’. 

Leaders need to invest in creating the right feedback culture. This includes sharing one’s own stuff-ups and vulnerability and redefining the word ‘mistakes. Indeed, I think we need to be mindful in organisations what vocabulary we use to foster a culture where people are encouraged and motivated to trial out new things. This also means that leaders should have the back of team members and protect them if needed or removing roadblocks so innovation can occur in the first place. 

Counteracting the hurdles

Feedback is one of those skills where leaders often think: “of course I can give feedback, no worries”. Looking a bit deeper, there might be a lack of techniques, time and fear of how the feedback will impact on the other person.

To counteract these hurdles, leaders should familiarise themselves with new skills, and practice and role-model a feedback culture that is conducive to learning and allows growth for everyone. 

Professor Julia Milner is Professor of Leadership at EDHEC Business School

Main image courtesy of iStockPhoto.com and Torsten Asmus